The most hateful things about the 'Three Lions'.....

• Steven Gerrard made his professional debut in 1998. Before that he played in many youth teams from an early age. Since then he has played in hundreds of football matches and must have watched hundreds more. In thee 12 years since he made his professional debut he has had the benefit of playing alongside many great players and has been schooled by many great coaches. So why is it that he still thinks that the only option available to him when he recieves the ball 25-40 yards of goal is to punt the ball towards goal? Does he realise the men wearing the same clothes as him, running around on the same pitch as him, are team mates that he is by all means permitted to pass to? After all, giving the ball to said team mates may present an opportunity for someone else to put the ball in the back of the net from a more feasible distance that 40 yards away. Its always welcome to see someone leather it into the top corner at 90 mph, but my God I wish 'Stevie G' would occasionally take a second to look around and assess the situation around him before harumphing the ball into row Z like a fucking glory-hunting cretin.

• Adrian Chiles needs to get the fuck off of my TV, like, right now. I'm sick of this hideous freak staring down the camera like a drunk trying to rouse himself from a deep coma. What the fuck is up with his face anyway? He looks like Quasimodo via an unfortunate in-womb trauma. What was wrong with Des Lynam or Steve Rider? Yeah, they didn't gurn down the lens like a moron or try to act like they wanted to be your best friend, but they had dignity and warmth and bought a sense of calm and realism to proceedings. Chiles, on the other hand, seems intent of painting a scene of utter depression and abject disaster. In the 15 minutes half-time analysis although with this being ITV, it was more like 13 minutes of adverts and 3 minutes of intelectually-challenged hyperbole) not once was the more than decent performance of Algeria mentioned.

• Clive Tyldsley (wrong spelling probably, I don't give a shit), the ITV commentator, is a fucking moron. After (along with all of the English media) years of acclaiming Fabio Capello's strict rules regarding disipline in the squad, crediting it as the reason England have played so well in the lead-up to this World Cup, this reactionary brainless fucktard is now blaming England's bad performance on..... Fabio Capello's strict rules regarding disipline in the squad. Apparently, not having slaggy mahogany-coloured bitches in South Africa with them and not allowing the players to video themselves porking a page three models has created "bad harmony within the squad." I'm unsure what evidence Mr Tyldystyyeldedly has of this being the root of England's problems in this one game, but I reckon it has something to do with being more interested in sound-bitey, sensationalist bullshit that actual tactical analysis.
  

• Emile Heskey should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. He must be brain damaged. He must be. What does he do????? He is just SO FUCKING AWFUL. I can genuinely say I have never seen a professional footballer so inept at everything he does. He can't pass, he can't shoot, he can't hold up the ball, he can't run, he can't control the ball, he can't head the ball, he can't cross, he can't do anything. Except fall over his own clown feet. Or take up a spot in the team for footballers who can actually run and control a football simeltaneously. A minute ago, he recieved the ball. He stood still which gave the defender time to advance towards him. He then attempted a stepover which richoched off his own calf and shin. He then shanked the ball out of play while attempting to cross the ball into the box. It's just Emile Heskey personified, in one passage of play. Where is the evidence that Heskey's prescence helps Wayne Rooney play? When have they linked up in this match? Rooney is having just as bad a game as any of the other imbeciles in white tonight.

• I don't usually agree with booing your own team, but I feel like this gaggle of gaping arseholes deserve it on the back of this utterly pathetic showing.